The Light

depressed

At some point in the past year or so, I shared the above quotation on my Facebook page.  At the time I posted it, I completely believed it to be true.  You see, I had this gratitude thing down pat.  If I just focused on all the things in my life I have to be thankful for, it didn’t leave space or energy to be bothered by the negative.  I couldn’t have been more wrong.

When depression hits it is relentless.  It doesn’t care about the rose-colored glasses you have on.  It completely ignores the shift in mindset that you worked so hard to create.  It couldn’t care less about the cute lists you made of all the things you are thankful for.  It comes in like a monster from a dark sci-fi novel and with one fell swoop, knocks you to the bottom of a deep, dark, rocky cavern.  It laughs at you as you attempt to climb towards the light, only to be smacked down again.  You learn that it’s just easier to exist in the darkness and so that’s what you do.

If you are one of the lucky ones, you go about your daily life like nothing is wrong.  Somehow you manage to get out of bed every morning and fool everyone into believing that you are okay.  Life goes on around you but you are stuck in a repetitive rut and no matter how hard you try, you can’t climb out of that dark cavern.  Sadly, no one around you can tell that there is something wrong.

If you aren’t so lucky, you become paralyzed down in that cavern.  Life goes on around you and no one can figure out why you are standing still.  Maybe the whispers are true; you’re just lazy or scared or weak.  Maybe you’ve just given up.  It certainly feels that way, so maybe it’s true.

Clinical depression is completely different from the feeling of depression you had when you were 16 and the love of your life cheats on you.  Clinical depression is an illness that can’t be cured simply by focusing on positive things.  If anything in the post sounds familiar to you, if you or someone you know is in the bottom of that deep, dark, rocky cavern, it’s time to get help.  It’s time to find the light.

This was written in response to today’s blog prompt, “Hopeful”.

 

The Winding Road

Vanessa Paradis

As I am winding down for the day, I find myself reflecting on a conversation I had with one of my closest friends today.  Jerry is fantastic at his job.  He is highly respected in his professional community and the people he serves are quite fortunate to have someone like Jerry fighting for them on a daily basis.  Even though he is exceptionally good at what he does, Jerry never wanted to do the kind of work that he’s doing and is looking to make a change in the coming 12 months.

Jerry’s had a very interesting journey on a winding and twisted path to get to where he is.  While talking to him about it today, he said something about how maybe at some point, it will become apparent why he made this stop in the journey and that made me think a lot about life and how all the pieces sometimes don’t seem to fit together, but eventually they all fall into place.

So while we may find ourselves confused, unhappy, or frustrated about where we are in life, we should be thankful for these times because they are necessary in order for us to get to where we are meant to be.